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Writer's picturePiya K

Have you ever wondered why you can't let go of your traumas?

Most of us have, and it's understandable. Living with trauma can be exhausting and painful, and many of us would do anything to make it go away. But there's a reason why our minds hold on to it. Our bodies and minds are incredible, and if they hold on to trauma, there's often a reason for it.


Understanding Trauma Retention


Brandy Gillmore, an expert in mind and energy, says that acknowledging why our brains hold on to trauma is the first step to releasing it completely. She explains, "When we start addressing why the brain is holding on to it, now that's when we can wholeheartedly release it."


The Role of Protection


Our minds are designed to keep us safe. They don't want us to experience that horrible event again. Sometimes, holding on to trauma, even subconsciously, is a way to protect us. Fear-driven and survivalist, our minds remember traumatic events to steer us clear from similar dangers in the future. However, fear isn't always rational or logical.


Energetic Coding in Our Bodies


Mary Morrissey, a life coach with expertise in counselling psychology, provides a deeper insight into this phenomenon. She explains that every thought has a vibration that moves through our bodies. This vibration travels through our brain, spinal cord, and eventually our tissues, bones, and organs.


"When you think about the trauma or fear it might happen again, that vibration gets sent throughout your body, becoming wired into your nervous system," she says. This vibration can be so repetitive that we start feeling its effects even when nothing is happening.


The Power of Thought


Our minds can't differentiate between something that's actually happening and something we're vividly imagining. There's a popular saying: "where energy goes, energy flows." If we continually focus on and rethink trauma, our bodies will have a traumatic response. This response then becomes hardwired into us.


Stored in the Mind and Body


As Mary explains, when this happens, your trauma gets coded into your system, and your mind doesn't know how to let it go because it's so used to living with it. Life with trauma becomes "normal" to your mind.


Stories and Beliefs


After a traumatic experience, our minds can create a narrative filled with beliefs about the world, people, and ourselves. This mechanism is meant to protect us from experiencing similar traumas again. However, these stories often foster limiting beliefs we might not even be aware of.


These beliefs can be things like feeling the need to please everyone, fearing failure, feeling undeserving of love, or believing you must overachieve to be accepted. We live out these stories, thinking they will keep us safe, but often, we end up repeating similar traumatic events.


Dr. Yvonne Farrell, a licensed acupuncturist and a doctor of acupuncture and Oriental medicine, explains this further. "Imagine a child early in life hearing over and over 'you're stupid,' or 'you're useless,' or 'we're sorry we had you,' or 'you were a big mistake.' These kinds of comments may not appear traumatic in the moment, but they impact our beliefs about who we are as human beings. We change our beliefs and end up living based on someone else's perception rather than our true selves."


Addiction to the Story


Sometimes, we clearly remember our traumas and unconsciously keep the story alive. We relive it in our minds and retell it to friends, family members, and therapists. It’s not the fear of the trauma happening again but the emotional 'hit' we receive each time we recount it. We might gain sympathy, a target for our anger, or someone to blame. Often, we're unaware this is happening.


This too is a form of protection. When we divert attention to others, we shield ourselves from facing deep feelings of loneliness, hurt, rejection, betrayal, doubt, or loss. It helps us avoid the depths of what we might prefer not to feel.


Healing Through Understanding


It's one thing to revisit a trauma to make sense of it and to find meaning. Processing the experience and reaching a moment of, "Oh, now I see what this experience is teaching me," is a step in healing and releasing traumas.


We get into trouble when we keep telling the same story with the same meaning. That’s a sign your mind is holding on to the story for a reason. If you're exploring the story to find a different perspective, that's a healthy part of healing. Many people on the road to recovery aim to reclaim their stories and unwind old futile beliefs, so they can rise anew.


Seeking Professional Help


Trying to unearth the reasons your mind may be holding on to trauma can be daunting and tricky. Much of healing trauma is a challenging solo journey. That’s why it's important to work with someone trained who can help you unpack these stories and work towards creating new, healthier beliefs.


Moving Forward


The journey towards releasing trauma begins with understanding why we hold on to it in the first place. By recognising the mind's protective mechanisms, the body's energetic coding, and the limiting beliefs our minds create, we can start to address the root causes of our traumas.


Remember, your mind and body want the best for you. They may hold on to trauma to protect you, but with understanding and care, we can help them let go, leading to a fuller, happier life.


Stay kind to yourself and to your journey of healing. Understanding is the first step to freedom.




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